New adventures, Familiar Place

So I have alluded to a new job several times in the past few months on here. And I figured it’s past time to talk about it. As you can tell from the new banner, I have TX and NM represented in that star of life. That’s because I’m now, once again, workin in the state of Texas.

Some of you might remember that three years ago I worked in a small rural TX community as an EMT-I. Well, now I’m back in the same community working as a Paramedic :). I work 7 days on/7 days off. It actually works out well for me. I’ll go into some detail as to what it’s like down here too. But suffice to say, it’s one of my dream jobs. And I’m having a lot of fun overall.

When I worked here before, it was a city run, third service, with pretty typical protocols for this area of Texas. Now, I’m working under flight protocols on a frontier 911 truck. We have some of the broadest sets of guidelines outside of my good friends to the south in Presidio. As a Paramedic I have free reign to use clinical judgement and best practice to deviate from our guidlines, and out critical care medics (more on that in a bit) can perform CVC placements, pericardiocentesis, chest tube insertion, and several other things. The running train of thought is that we can do more in the short term than our little community hospital can, and that they only do scans and give blood (the two things we can’t do at this point).

We regularly transport straight to the airport from scene to meet up with one of our company’s fixed wings for transport of hte patient to a tertiary facility or trauma center (nearest major hospital is a level 2. Closest Level 1 is over 200 miles in any direction). The flight team runs under our same protocols, so in this instance, the flight team doesn’t bring any additional tools (except they carry an ultrasound, ours are coming for ground) or skills to the patient. We use them strictly because we are so far from definitive care.

We also fly out quite a few by rotor. Part of this is that we cover 3000 sq mi of territory, a lot of it is pretty rugged desert. We also have one major interstate running through our county. One of our most common reasons for flying people out by rotor is that we just can’t get safely back down the road the patient is on with any sort of speed, like an oil rig lease road. We have one of the highest numbers of oil rigs in the state of texas here in my county. And with all this, I haven’t seen much abuse of air medical, it’s pretty typical for frontier Texas.

One of hte nice things about our company is that they want all medics to be certified as critical care. And we are 90% paramedic agency (we only have a handful of EMT-I and EMT-B providers. Once myself and four others go through the critical care class, we will be at 100% of paramedics certified as critical care. And I’m in that weird spot because I’m currently an FP-C, which is generally considered critical care level. And the best part is the company will pay for the critical care training. And with the schedules we work, an extra class (like UMBCs 2 weeks course) are easy enough to do trades togo to.

All-in-all I’m excited to be back here. It’s a great place to learn, and I get to play sometimes as a flight medic on our fixed wings. It’s already making me a better provider and it is my favorite type of EMS, rural with great protocols. Plus we have a great crew here. I can’t wait to see what my future holds down here.

We lost a good man yesterday

NM EMS suffered a terrific blow yesterday. We lost one of our best educators, Cy Stockhoff. I met Cy close to seven years ago when he helped proctor one of my first practical exams for EMT-B. Then I got to have him when I attempted my EMT-I cert for the first time. The man knew what he was talking about, and always pushed for us students to question the norm and push to make our profession better.

Cy taught a good portion of my first try through paramedic school, and was my biggest supporter when I withdrew from the program and took my EMT-I exam instead. He told me that life will never let you follow your plans exactly, and that sometimes things happen and you have to make do as best you can.

The last time I saw him, it was a fun little reunion when I came by his office to ask about starting their degree program with my current paramedic cert. He remembers nearly all his students, it seems, and I was no exception. He asked me how it was going, and congratulated me on my paramedic cert and asked how I was liking my rural 911 service (I  was in uniform at the time, so it was an easy jump).

Even then, he asked if I had thought about doing any further training and education, including getting my instructor certs. After those years away from being his student he still wanted me to do better than the status quo.

Cy, you’ve helped mentor me, helped me learn how this EMS thing works. You’ve made me question the ‘why’ about why we do things. I’m grateful to have been one of your students, and I will keep striving to be better, and to make our chosen profession better. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us. You’ve helped teach a state full of providers who will fight to the last, with what little we have to work with.

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This is weird…

So… it’s my first night as an ER Paramedic at the state’s trauma center… So far all I can say is;
This is weird… Very weird. It’s kinda fun though, since there are only two of us (counting my trainer) here on the floor, and we are responsible for not only primary patient care on up to 6 patients at once, but also we are the go-to people to help in the rest of the unit and the trauma bays.
I honestly never thought I wanted to go back to working in a hospital again, but this could be fun. Plus there’s the amazing benefits and the option of free education on a pretty consistent basis. I’m still going to be working the truck at least a few shifts a month (or one a week I hope) but this will become my primary job. It’s also easy to transition to a flight team job after I’ve been here a while, since the hospital runs a fixed wing program.
But this is also my first night shift in a long time that going to bed when I’m not doing anything isn’t an option. THAT I don’t like. But here we go. Another chapter opened, another door taken. Let’s see what kind of trouble I can get myself in.
-TJ

Also, please be sure to check out my facebook photography page, or look on my Tumblr page for more of my photos. Links are attached to my about me page.

 

And as an aside, I’m not sure why comments are being disabled on certain posts. If you have a comment or concern, post it to either my facebook page for the blog (Life of a Transport Jockey) or email to me at transportjockey@gmail.com

Keeping Promises

I’m big on keeping any promises I make. In my eyes, if I tell you I’m going to do something, I wouldn’t consider myself much of a person if I didn’t do it. And to that extent, one of my promises to someone is getting closer to fruition.

I took my classroom Paramedic Final Exam… 196 questions, all multiple choice, with parts from every section of that giantass purple book. I finished it in just under an hour… I’ve spent the last two weeks going over every page of notes, every review and exam online. I’ve looked at books that aren’t required reading, some that I’ve been told are way above what I need to know (which of course makes me even happier to read them). All to be ready for this exam. When I finished, I was tempted to go over all the questions, just to double check. Then I remembered that I am much better at trusting my gut instinct than to question what I do.

To that end, when I finished, I made sure the Scantron was ready to go, and then damn near flung it at my instructor and walked out. I was so freaking nervous when I walked out. I spend time pacing outside and I think my first twitter was… wait, let me pull it up.

“Oh dear god oh dear god… 196 questions in just under an hour… Either I suck or I kicked ass… One of the two. Freaking out now!”

I was so freakign worried about it… I just don’t like tests, I get almost physically sick… and I almost puked afterwards. Oh? What’s that? What did I get on it? Well… my intructor that was testing us came outside to get me, and told me he needed to talk to me. He told me I didn’t do nearly as well as he’d hoped I would, and then showed me a score of 47. I swear my heart sunk in my chest and I felt like looking for the nearest cliff to jump off of. Then I noticed it said ‘Section Grade’. And I thought “Wait… there were 4, 50 question sections to that test” and I think he saw my face so he just started laughing at me.

Turns out…. 87% on the written final! I was so freaking happy I couldn’t get words out. Turns out I was also the highest written grade on the test :) Now I start the long process of clinical and internship shifts. Which my first 14 hour shift is in TX Saturday starting at 0800 or so. I plan on being done, tested, and raped by the state of NM and NREMT and be a TX, NM, and NR certified paramedic by the middle of Feb. Let’s do this shit :) Now it’s the fun part.

But first, tonight I get to have fun. I get to go to this beautiful girls graduation party tonight. She is graduating with her BS from a local university, and I figure I wanna spend time with her, plus it’s a chance to relax. I’m just glad I passed the final or this party would be a little less fun :p

Oh, and in other news…. Ya’ll know this yea has not been the best for me. And this holiday season feels rather empty for me as well. I was asked by a friend of mine, a medical professional that used to be quite active on Twitter under an older name, to help her and do a guest post on suicide prevention and recognition. I was flattered that Dani would ask me, and I said yes. It was a hard post to write, but it’s one that needed to be written. And in writing it, I think it helped me a little bit too. Ya’ll can go take a look here (click the image):

My guest post

For Some, Its NOT the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Part One

 

Alright, well I’m out for now. I need a nap before tonight :p That drive to and from TX sucks lately :p Ya’ll stay safe

Intense

Whoa… I really meant to update this thing earlier than this. The last few weeks have been intense. Right now I’m sitting in Santa Fe NM covering a 22 hour shift on an IFT ambulance. I’m about to take a break from everything and try to take a nap. I’m so short on sleep right now it’s probably almost dangerous.

So, how’s everything going? Not too bad overall. I finally saw the inside of my apartment on the way back from class early this morning. Was nice to sleep in my own bed, if only for about 3 hours. The past few weeks have shown me it’s gonna be a long few months, but it will be so worth it to get pinned as a medic.

Speaking of class. I’m almost all the way caught up finally. I started 3 weeks late and have been doing both the work assigned as we go and all the stuff I missed. Luckily it’s a lot of review for me. Right now my average is hovering at about 92% and I am regularly getting told to shut up in class so someone else can answer. I’ve finally decided that I’ll just keep my mouth shut unless I have a question or am called upon.

We are working on airway right now, and we actually had a former flight nurse teach our class last night. She was probably the best instructor we’ve had so far in this program. But then again, she went into much more depth than most instructors think we ‘need’, and since airway and cardiac are my two favorite subjects I’m not going to complain.

We also go to play around with IVs for the first time for some people in our class. I was 3/3 live sticks, and 0/3 for anyone actually getting a stick on me. I told them I was a harder stick, but no one believed me. I did get asked to help with showing people proper techniques for IV insertion. IT actually is showing me that I like instructing. I’m seriously wondering about when I finish my BSN, going for a secondary BS in education.

But pretty much the class is going well. We were given some bad news that we can’t start any form of clinicals or internship rides until almost the first of the year. IT’s gonna be rather annoying because of the long commute, but I’m thinking about volunteering for a VFD district in Las Cruces area just so I can have a place to crash for free and get some more run volume. Yep, my life is revolving around EMS until I get my medic, there’s just no other way to work it and still have money. Hell, my schedule this last week has had me sleeping in my 911 coverage area at one of the spare bases instead of having to drive back to the city and sleep, then turn around 6 hours later and drive down to Ops to pick up my classmate and make the drive to TX.

So… yea, that’s just a quick update. There’s more I wanted to write about but for now I think I’m gonna go take a nap. I’ve got more homework to do still.

Memories, and new beginnings?

I’ve never like Albuquerque, not since before I moved here for school. When I left last March for Colorado, I thought that was it. I swore I’d never willingly move back to Albuquerque. But somehow in the course of talking to you the NEXT March… we agreed to find a place together in Albuquerque, and I would have been so very content to stay here for the next 18 years with you if you’d have had me. That’s when it hit me. You were what was missing the first few years here. Even staying at your parents (which I’m still so very grateful they put up with me :p), being with you felt like home. You were my home, the place I felt the safest. The place I felt most comfortable. The person I loved being with so much.

Now Albuquerque is a bunch of memories, of things we did. Of places we visited. Unfinished plans that we made together. Albuquerque feels empty to me now. Worse than before you, it’s now a black hole that seems content to suck out any happiness or wanting to do anything. This is not my home any longer.

I guess that’s why when this hospital district offered me the opportunity to come out and test, I took it without a second thought. I knew you would have been ok with it. That’s why I bristle a little when people accuse me of trying to run away from my problems here and run there. And to be honest, that thought gave me a panic attack on the drive back today.

For a little bit, I didn’t know why I was doing it. Was I really running away? Or was I doing it because it’s something I wanted? Because it’s something I thought would be the best idea for me? I really didn’t know. That made me feel horrible. Then I thought about it. Both of us loved travelling, granted you hated TX, but we both had plans to move as much as we could. And this would really be a good opportunity for me. Maybe I’m doing it for a little bit of all of those reasons? But you know what, if it’s better for me in the long run, who cares right this second why I’m doing it?

But that means I need to try and put some things behind me. Sweetheart, losing you is something I’m still having a hard time dealing with. I listened to a song on the way home and these were part of hte lyrics

“I don’t wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye”

That’s rather how I feel towards you. The last month I’ve gone through so many emotions… Gods know that there have been times I’ve been so very pissed off at you. Pissed that you left me alone here, pissed that you wouldn’t talk to any of us, pissed that you were gone. Pissed in general. But it reminded me too that I wouldn’t have been anywhere near that mad if I wasn’t in love with you.

What I can do, though, is remember the memories. Remembering you so many years ago, walking into the interview for that trip with me. I saw you back then, braces, frizzy hair, and all, and it was like something inside me clicked. Like my heart went “Oh! Hi! I’ve been waiting for you!”

And that trip was amazing. I know you had some rough spots during it, and so did I. And I’m sorry I ever took it out on you then. But we enjoyed each others company so very much. And I loved squirelling a smile out of you when you were in a bad mood. It helped my mood so much too. And then  when we got home… This blushing little girl, so cute and innocent looking, walking up to me and kissing me on the cheek, then walking away. You left me standing there breathless and staring. I still smile when I think of that memory.

Then we had some bad times. I was dating the one-who-will-never-be-named (yes she is that much of an evil bitch that she would give Voldemort a run for his money) and she took great exception to the fact that I might have been falling for someone that wasn’t her, or that I was even talking to someone that wasn’t her. So she took it upon herself to make sure we’d never talk again… and for several years we didn’t. I remember spending hours trying to find you online, looking for any sign of you. And come to find out you were doing the same thing to find me.

I remember the first day I saw you again. It was after you and my mother realized who each other was. I came down from ABQ for just a chance. We called each other when I got on campus and left my mom’s office. And in a typical Zita moment, and Nate moment for that matter, I look ahead of me and see someone talking on the phone… making arm motions that looked very familiar. I asked you what you were doing and you told me walking. I was smirking to myself the entire time, and I asked you to turn around. God, seeing your face for the first time in years was amazing. You had just gotten even more gorgeous and grown up from that little girl I remember. The smile on your face when we both realized we’d been on the phone with each other from about 20ft away is still one of my favorite memories.

Remembering how you smiled at me this past Valentine’s day when I surprised you with flowers at your parents. You were always so hard to surprise because you hated them and tried to get all the info you could before it happened. That’s why I’m amazed that me and your mother managed to pull off me sneaking by without you knowing. The happiness you had on your face when you saw me walk through the door was amazing, and then the surprise and smile when I handed you flowers. I was hoping that flowers to you on V-day would become a normal tradition with us, the first time I’d ever enjoyed that day at all.

Or how a month or two later when I walked into your parents house again on a mini-vacation from TX. I had been working up the courage to ask if I could kiss you on that trip, so can you imagine how surprised I was when the first thing you do as I walk in is kiss me on the lips, kiss me very soundly? Heh, I think it was almost a repeat of the airport and me just standing there. You smiled so sweetly and just giggled at me. That was the turning point of us becoming an ‘us’ even if we didn’t want to admit it to anyone.

Those are just a few of my favorite memories of you and me. And kind of why I think I might be running away from ABQ… there are memories of you, of us, of all three of us, everywhere in this state. And I really am having a hard time dealign with it. I still wake up and expect to be looking into your gorgeous hazel eyes, or hear you giggle at me whenever I do something stupid. I miss your gentle touch when I’m upset, and boy, lately, I could have used that wonderful touch so often. I miss just being able to cuddle you to me when you were upset. All in-all… I miss you honey. Miss you so much that the pain makes me want to curl up into a ball and stay there.

I think what really gets me… is that we didn’t really have a chance. We were good together for the short time we had, and it kills me that I’ll never know how we would have turned out. I think it would have worked, but now I’ll never know… and that, to me, is one of the things that makes this so hard.

So, yea, maybe I am running away. But I’m also trying to move on. You would want me to move on. You’d want me to become a better man. You knew of my love for EMS, and you told me shortly before I lost you that you could never tell me you wanted me to give it up. So here I go. I’m trying to get on with one of my dream services (the only one I can get on with as an EMT-I as opposed to a medic). I’m trying to become that man you would be proud of. I’m just hoping you keep watching over me. Keep visiting me in my dreams, for that’s the only way I can see you now, and gods know that I miss you. I still think of you every second of every day, and I can’t see how that will change any time soon. But for now I just need to keep pressing on. Keep trying  to push forward. It’s what you would have wanted for me. and it’s what I would have wanted you to do if the situations would be reversed.

I know I still can’t tell you goodbye. Like I said earlier, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to tell you goodbye. But I will not, cannot, ever forget you. You’ll stay in my heart forever. And I think you took the best part of me with you when you left, so at least you have some company. Until I see you again lover, watch over me and help keep my dumb ass safe when I do something stupid.

“The blackest night must end in dawn, the light dispel the dreamer’s fear.”

——————————————————————————

So… I just got back to NM last night. I left NM on sunday to go to SE Texas to test for a large hospital based agency. From everything I have heard, they are in the top three services in the state of TX and they’ve always been one I wanted to work at. But man it was a long drive. 15 hours or so from here.

The hiring process consists of a written test, three practical tests (airway incluiding pedi and adult ETI, vital signs, and LSB), an interview, and a PAT. I passed the written with an 88%, passed all three practicals with only one retest (vital signs?! I think I just got nervous and started counting my own pulse), and had a great time on the PAT. It was actually a very fun PAT, and one of the few for private, non-fire EMS that I’ve seen that has you do a full course, not just a stair test. The interview I think I did ok on too. Now I just have to wait till Friday to hear if I got the job or not. If I did, orientation will start on July 18th.

And it’s not just orientation. They run a 3 week academy followed by 4-6 weeks riding third before you’re released as a probationary crew member under a mentoring medic.  I love the idea of the way they do new hires. So… fingers crossed that I’ll get the call once I get off duty on Friday. I go in for a 36 down here in ValCo tonight. I’m hoping I’ll have a resonably busy shift.

What’s the worst that could happen?

First off, a note to everyone. This post has been written over several days, so I apologize for any rough parts. This isn’t quite where I pictured this post to going, and there will most likely be a second part coming eventually. But first, I’ve got a post for The Handover to get done, and a blog game that our lovely Cicatrix posted up that she gave me permission to use. So without any more rambling, the post:

Ok, to my two or three readers who expect something EMS, you’re mostly going to be dissapointed. That little difference in rural EMS of not running calls compared to urban EMS has reared it’s ugly head. My service is not running too many calls right now, it seems my black cloud has slightly worn off. Hopefully that changes for my next shift.

So other than that, it’s been a busy weekend for me. I worked a 12 on Thursday during the day and an on call shift that night. From my opening, I’m sure you can probably guess how many calls we ran on that one. Yep. Just one. And we were canceled before we even hit the scene. So I was actually able to get some sleep, which was a good thing, cause Friday was a long day.

Friday consisted of trying to get my car inspected so I can get it registered here in TX. It’s actually kind of nice to not be afraid of getting pulled over cause my tags were two months out of date. I’ve been procrastinating for some time about getting it done, but since I was going to spend the majority of Friday and Saturday driving, I figured it was about time to do it, especially since I was going through the only little town I’ve ever seen that ticketed my while driving an ambulance.

Why would I be spending most of my weekend driving you ask? Well, I had to drive to Clovis, NM on Friday. My New Mexico state EMT-I test was at 0900 on Saturday morning. I figured that even though I am working in TX, my proximity to NM and maybe working part time just across the border might make it a handy time to have my full NM EMT-I cert (I’ve had a provisional EMT-I cert in NM since I did the transition course this summer, but as I found, no one will hire you with a provisional certification). And if those reasons aren’t good enough, I had already paid to take the state test :) So I might as well.

Have you ever driven in West TX/East NM? No? Well let me describe it to you. Lets start with the landscape. Flat. With a primary color of ‘dying plant brown’, but some ‘puke green’ highlights here and there. Then toss in ‘towns.’ I though I lived in a small town, but a lot of these places you literally can blink and miss them. Then lay down the road. Almost all straight, but with exactly 9 slight curves on the trip up there. I think I counted 14 stop signs/lights during the trip too. I could almost lock my steering wheel straight ahead, and take a nap for the duration of the trip. So when I say it’s a boring drive, trust me, it’s really^3 boring.

So I get up there and into my hotel. Figure I want to hunt around for a beer and a burger so I can study some more. I found out my ex-fiance and her husband, my ex-partner are both going to be there. She was testing for recert for her NM EMT-B since she let it expire. That’s another reason for the beer. It’s really going to be the first time I sit down and talk with them after everythign that has happened in the past.

So I eat, and drink, and study, and drink. Finally I decide that if I don’t know this crap by now, I’m not gonna pass anyway. So I took out the studying bit and just went to surfing the net and drinking beer. Hey it worked. And I relaxed a bit.

But people, if you have to take a major test the next day, don’t get too drunk that you wake up feeling like your head is going to explode. It’s not a good frame of mind. I went to the hotel’s complimentary breakfast to try and eat something pretty bland, when I see the couple I didn’t want to see till after the test walk in. I had no idea they were staying at the same hotel I was. This was going to be a more interesting day than I had originally thought.

I say hi to her, gave her a hug. I ignore him. I’m still hurt by what I see as him betraying me, his partner. We worked together for months and he managed to stab me in the back. Me and her talk a little, just small talk about how her parents are doing, how’s my old service treating people, the coming test. That sort of thing. Soon enough the time has come for us to head over to the local community college to take our state tests.

It all seemed like a blur, but I walked out of the test feeling good about it. That could be a bad thing, since every time I felt good about a test in P-school, I wound up not getting very high marks on it. But maybe this will be a good start to this next batch of learning and testing I’ll be doing with my second go about medic school.

I find myself sitting across the table at an iHop from them a few hours later… Just like old times when we all worked together. It’s an odd feeling. We talk about what we want for our futures. I find out that my ex and her husband are trying to have a baby, and she is talking about going to school for her Doctor of Oriental Medicine. He is still talking about Medical School, and one in NM has pretty much already accepted him.

We started talking about what I wanna do. They both were happy to hear me decide that I wanted to do the BS-EMS Critical Care at UNM. Then he said something that stopped me in my tracks, “You know, that degree was made so UNM could try to attract more EMS providers into their medical school. Have you thought about going on to that?” I couldn’t say much, just shook my head no. I just told him that I didn’t think I could do it, that it was just a dream I had.

“After working with you for almost a year, I think you can do it. There’s no harm in trying. Talk to your old hospital, they have been having trouble keeping Emergency Medicine docs in their Emergency Departments. What’s the worst that could happen?” Hearing those words come out of the mouth of a man that I dislike, who dislikes me just as much made me stop and think about it. After all, if someone who doesn’t even like me, but knew what I could do thought I could do something like this…

It’s a similar situation like a fellow blogger had. She was talking to a friend at work and the same thing hit her. I don’t know what to do at this point. I did call my old hospital to talk to their ED director. He told me that they could very well work out a deal with me if I get undergrad out of the way and get accepted into the City Medical School. I’m just flabergasted that anyone would think I can do it.

I love being a field provider, a ditch doctor as some people call EMS. But the idea of being able to get to the top of the system and try to get change to happen for the field I love is a strong pull to doing it.

After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

Wait… Already planning again?

I’ve been here in BFE, TX for about two months, yet I’m already looking at planning my next move. Actually my next two at least. Maybe being single actually a good thing… Since I apparently have a problem settling down and staying in one place for very long.

I plan on staying here in BFE for at least 2.5 years or so. Long enough to get my AAS in Paramedicine and my Paramedic License (not cert) here in TX. Plus it’ll give me good experience working in a 911 system, and prove to myself that I can handle being definitive care for a long transport until I can actually get them to a hospital. That means a lot to me since I’ll actually have time to see my interventions make a difference or not, instead of dropping off the patient after only being with them for 10 minutes or so.

It’s ok living here, but it kinda sucks to have to drive at least 70 miles to do anything. I guess while I like living in a small town, there’s a limit on just how small. The town in NM that I lived in HS was just barely larger than here, but it had a college and a few things to do at least.

After I finish up my AAS and get some experience, I’m looking at moving back to NM and going to the University there and going for my Bachelors of Science in EMS on the Critical Care track. There are a few services I can work for down there that I am pretty familiar with, plus my old service down there if I really wanted to.

Some people have asked why I would make a move in the middle of going to where I really want to work at just to go to school for another two years, especially since I’ll already be a paramedic. Well… because I believe that more education is essential in this field. I want to have as much education as I can so I can better serve the patients who trust me with their care. The fact that they don’t get to pick and choose who responds to their calls makes me want to work that much harder to make sure I’m the best provider I can be and see if I can help change the system from the inside out.

I figure I’ll stay there for a few years (as short a time as I can manage while getting my degree) and then get ready to move again. I really don’t want to do career EMS in Albuquerque, just not that fond of the system there. I’ve been looking at various systems that I would love to spend my career working in and I’ve come up with three of them. One is Austin/Travis County, of course. A great third service in a good system. I’ve heard only good things about them, but heard they might be going to a P/B or P/I truck instead of the P/P trucks like I’ve heard they run.

My second option is Wake County EMS. This one appeals to me due to the fact that they have a community paramedicine program. That type of work really makes me happy to think about. I’d love to do it.

And the last option I’ve thought of so far is back to Denver to work for Denver Health Paramedics. Primarily a Paramedic agency with very few BLS trucks. I love the area up there and the agency didn’t seem too bad when I was there.

So those are my rough plans for the next 6 years or so of my life. Lets see how much life will throw at me and force me to change those plans. :)

Well, I’m on shift now as well, so it’s time to watch some more TV unless I find something else to ramble on about! Ya’ll stay safe out there.

It’s Thanksgiving

First off, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Take the day and try to relax and enjoy time with your family. If you’re on duty, like me today, stay safe out there and I hope you can get a chance to stop and sit down for a meal today. Thank you for giving up your holiday to serve your community.

This is a hard Thanksgiving for me. It’s the first one where I’m out of the state that the majority of my family lives in, and since I’m on duty today I am not able to go home for the holiday. And to top it off, the one I was hoping would be moving with me when I came here has pretty much cut me out of her life. But oh well. I’m here, and I still have things that I’m thankful for.

One of the biggest things I’m thankful for this year is my family. They’ve stood by me and have been willing to help me in any way that I’ve needed this past year. And I’ve definitely needed the help too. When I was getting frustrated on the job search, they were there to talk to, when someone I truly cared about disappeared from my life suddenly they put up with my moodiness and moping and pushed me to try and put it behind me. They gave me hugs when I needed them, encouragement when I needed it, and kicks in the ass when I needed the motivation.

And by family, I don’t just mean blood family. I also mean the people who have become like family to me on Twitter and in the #CoEMS/#EMS2point0 movements. @msenginemedic @shell1972 @EMTGoose @EMTDani @MsParamedic @enginemedic @emtmikey, and lots of others I’m forgetting,  plus people like Linuss and Lucid from over at my favorite EMT forum. Ya’ll really mean a lot to me and thank you for being here when I need someone.

I’m also so incredibly thankful to be working again in the field that I love and being given another chance to get my life turned to where I want it to go. This job has opened up several doors to me, including a chance to go back to school and try again for my medic cert. Working out here will be incredible experience, and when I move on to continue my education I’ll always look at it fondly for the chances it gave me. And this service has done it’s best to invite me into their little family with open arms, and it helped since I was a stranger moving here with no idea about anything in the area.

I’m grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned this year, even when at the time they seemed like they were the end of my dreams. I kept getting told everything works out the way it does for a reason, and I’m hoping they’re right. I’ve learned a lot this year, and I’m not the same person I was back in January. We’ll see if these lessons keep me from making the same mistakes I have in the past.

And lastly… Little one, despite everything, I’m happy that you were in my life. I wish you the best of luck with everything and everyone. You showed me what I want in life, talked to me in my darkest times over the summer, held my hand when I needed it when I visited you. You are still the one I think of the absolute most of anyone, and you probably will be for some time. I still love you and wish things were different. Good bye.

Well, that’s enough for now. I’m sitting in the station for now doing nothing, my partner is upstairs still asleep from last night (He’s on a 24, as am I, but I switch off partners at 1800 and he gets off). Later today we’re going to one of our medics house for dinner, and it’s going to be pretty much the whole department there. Should be kinda fun.

Stay safe everyone, and enjoy today.

EMS for the Cure

My one or two readers may have noticed a new little image up in the upper right side of my blog. It’s to show my support for EMS for the Cure. It’s something that this year I can only support by trying to let more people know about it, unfortunately, but I’ll do what I can.

We all know someone, either directly or indirectly, who has been affected by breast cancer. For me it was my mother. She was diagnosed with a rare form of skin cancer that had metastasized to the breast tissue. This was during my Jr year of high school. For the next two years she battled the cancer and went through horrendous chemo treatments, two surgeries, and lots of poking and prodding. She was really the strongest person I have ever known as she went through all of that. She wasn’t going to let anything stop her from seeing me and my brother walk across the stage at graduation, and it didn’t. Two weeks before we graduated she had an appointment and was told that the cancer was in remission. That was the best graduation present I could have ever gotten.

She was there in the stands as her boys walked across the stage to get their diplomas. She was there with us at our graduation party, and she was there when we moved out to start our college careers. Since then she has been cancer free, but I know not everyone is so lucky.

And it’s for those people, and the ones who did beat cancer, that I ask everyone who can to give just a little, or a lot, to help fight this disease. Those of you who are fellow bloggers, go pink for the next few weeks, in honor of national Breat Cancer month. For all of you that already have, thank you.